Today, I took my dog out to the yard to do her business as I often do (or as my husband often does... it seems often anyway.) I took a step off the porch and stopped to let her do her thing at which point I immediately noticed the post sunset chill that had crept into the air. Suddenly I was ready to go back inside and quickly. Since Ms. Pepper didn't seem to be ready to do anything I started to pull on her leash and make a motion toward the door. She wasn't ready though and so I stopped. (You can't rush a dog or you'll find yourself in the same spot five minutes later.) Funny thing was that I stopped mid-motion. I had literally just stepped forward to turn and that was how I stopped.
And it hit me.
How do you get anywhere? By placing one foot in front of the other.
What's so funny about this? Nothing.
So why are you telling me this dog goes poopy story?
It's because of what I learned (or realized or better yet remembered) in that moment. It's because movement is about taking one step and placing it in front of the other. That is such a hard concept sometimes but it is so very literal. I deal with this issue a lot right now. Whether it's dealing with family, friends, unemployment, "being froggy fibers" or even handling my issues with depression. I have to learn when to move. And it's hard. I mean really hard. Some issues are harder than others even.
When do you move forward? When do you stop? How do you change directions? I don't know the answer for me so I'm certainly not going to pretend that I can tell anyone else. I just know that it was a very light-bulb moment for me. As I stand there frozen one foot forward, arms mid-swing waiting for my dog to go. I realized that the only way I'm going to see some change in my life, in my online store, in my job/career choice is to start putting one foot in front of the other and create the movement I need. Sure, there will be bumps in the road that will set me back a few paces. But when they do, I'm going to make sure that I turn around and face those steps head on. Because even if I have to retrace some steps, once I turn around those steps are in front of me again. Now I will have the experience of having walked that path before and I can put one foot in front of the other and decide what my movement will be. I will know that a few steps back down a path I've already tread doesn't mean I lose control of what road I will take in the future.
See, I'll be thirty next month. I have my whole life ahead of me. Sometimes that seems like such a weight, sometimes a relief, sometimes like I am just really, really old and have accomplished nothing. Tonight, when I go to bed, I'll wonder how something as simple as taking the dog out to go poop can bring about inspiration. (Yes, there I said poop!) I'll probably giggle a little too. Cause, you know, I'm sooooo mature.
******
On a related note, not 5 minutes after having this epiphany I found myself reading Tingling Towards Progress over on Make & Meaning. It's good reads... even if it has to do with feet. Talking as someone who only likes to see feet on the floor and no where near me, it's kinda odd the inspiration they can prompt.
2 comments:
Your post is great and spoke to me because I am at one of those movement times (or will be very soon). My yougest child is starting school in September and I have to decide what to do with my life. Some of the choices are, stay at home as I am, try and get a job, go back to college for more training and hopefully get a better job....you get the idea.
For me taking the step will not be hard, it is deciding which way to go.
Good luck!
Charlotte x
Just keep MOVING! Don't stop. Sometimes thinking too much keeps us from moving, so don't do that, either. And good luck to you. There hasn't been a new post on your blog in a while, so I really (REALLY) hope that you are in your home, one foot in front of the other, dancing while your come up with your creative "stuff."
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